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one reads of the keys of death and hell; thou perhaps
understands that place. We were in a place they call the
Museum, where there is all things that are comical, a
thousand things that thou never saw nor I can name; there
were mouse-deer horns as broad as our bakeboard (14), and
bits of all manner of horns; but I cannot tell thee what,
but there's horns named in the Revelations, and we will have
a great deal of discourse as soon as I am able to come and
see thee.
I was at a place they call the Common Exchange, where people
from all corners of the world meet together to buy and sell
all things that ever thou can name; the midst of it is like
a bee-hive, but stands upon long freestone legs, with a
great round window in the crown of it, and resembles a wide
house round about the legs, and it covers as much ground as
the Tairn the gold chest (15) is in, thou knows it. I was at
a place they call the Castle, where the man they call
Tenant lives; he is Steward of Ireland for our King,
the Lord Mayor of Dublin is his head servant, and people
said he went through hell to church every Sunday: I thought
it had been some street-lane they had called so, but I
fairly saw him standing like a door-stead raised about two
yards above the earth; I think he was chained to the spot,
for he did not stir, perhaps he was frozen; but it
was a dark black lane, covered over with black houses, and I
persuaded my feet to carry me a good way off such
curiosities, for I was almost frightened to death, and it
was very well I had strength to run away; thou may be very
sure I gave my comrade a devilish lesson for dragging me
through hell; but he was frightened of nothing, and carried
me to St Patrick's church; it is as big as a town, and as
many people at it; there was half a dozen priests at work,
but we had only staid a little while, when something they
call the Roargins began a bellowing like a hundred
mad bulls, and as many little boys in their shirts began a
screaming Murder, I think, for every roar was like
thunder; my feet then carried me without persuading in a
furious gallop over people and every thing that was in my
way, till I got into a great field a mile round, they call
it St Stephens Green, I think, after a man on a great grey
horse that was standing upon a little house in the midst of
it; he had his sword drawn, but he durst not get off for
want of room; I think they said he had been frightened, as I
was; but I was so frightened that I hardly knew what I did
or said: but I saw another man upon a little house in the
midst of a great street-lane, I think they were brothers,
for their coats were like a slated house-side, and they were
as pale as death in the face like myself. Round about the
before-mentioned field there is the finest gravel road thou
ever stept on, and there was hundreds and thousands of folks
sauntering about upon it; I began to be as angry as I was at
Coaley when he broke the neck of the bell-wether, that they
would not help the man and his horse down when it was almost
dark; I was angry and sweat for fear, and durst not say one
word, because there was so many three-nooked-hat men, and
ladies as they call them, (I had better have been in
Borrowdale;) I have often thought since, that if we had one
of them ladies among our barley she would serve to keep the
crows from it bravely. I asked a man that I knew what was
the matter with some of the women they were so broad one
way? he told me, it was the fashion to wear hoops; not a bad
one neither, if it keeps their legs together, for some of
them were very pretty; but I would not have one of them for
a wife if she had all Borrowdale, unless they would put off
their hoops when they go to bed, for they are as broad as
any bed in Borrowdale; and then thou knowest there would not
be room, except upon them, and what sleep could one get upon
a quick bed: hang them, they are all white-headed, like our
wheat-miller's lasses, and they talk and chirp like mice. I
wonder what they see that take a fancy to any such, but they
have pretty little feet, which makes me think they would
prove nimble shepherds upon our steep fells, and we would
teach them to salve and clip, and their
hoop-pocket would be very
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(14) Bakeboard, a large board the country people roll out
their oaten bread upon before committed to the fire, and is
about two feet six inches diameter. (15) Gold chest is in ;
a pool of water in Cumberland, of about ten acres,
concerning which there is a popular tradition of having a
golden ark or chest in it. (16) Salve and clip, to salve
sheep, is to anoint them with a salve made of tar, butter,
oil, and tallow, to prevent the scab, and make the wool
grow; and clip, is sheering them.
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