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Page 51:-
was the coast of Scotland opposite to Allonby, said Mr.
Goodchild with enthusiasm; there was a fine Scottish
mountain on the Scottish coast; there were Scottish lights
to be seen shining across the glorious Channel, and at
Allonby itself there was every idle luxury (no doubt), that
a watering-place could offer to the heart of idle man.
Moreover, said Mr. Goodchild, with his finger on the map,
this exquisite retreat was approached by a coach-road, from
a railway-station called Aspatria - the name, in a manner,
suggestive of the departed glories of Greece, associated
with one of the most engaging and most famous of Greek
women. On this point, Mr. Goodchild continued at intervals
to breathe a vein of classic fancy and eloquence exceedingly
irksome to Mr. Idle, until it appeared that the honest
English pronunciation of that Cumberland country shortened
Aspatria into "Spatter." After this supplementary discovery,
Mr. Goodchild said no more about it.
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By way of Spatter, the crippled Idle was carried, hoisted,
pushed, poked, and packed, into and out of carriages, into
and out of beds, into and out of tavern resting-places,
until he was brought at length within sniff of the sea. And
now, behold the apprentices gallantly riding into Allonby on
a one-horse fly, bent upon staying in that peaceful marine
valley until the turbulent Doncaster time shall come round
upon the wheel, in its turn among what are in sporting
registers called the "Fixtures" for the month.
"Do you see Allonby!" asked Thomas Idle.
"I don't see it yet," said Francis looking out of the
window.
"It must be there," said Thomas Idle.
"I don't see it, returned Francis.
"It must be there," repeated Thomas Idle, fretfully.
"Lord bless me!" exclaimed Francis, drawing in his head, "I
suppose this is it!"
"A watering-place," retorted Thomas Idle, with the
pardonable sharpness of an invalid, "can't be five gentlemen
in straw-hats, on a form on one side of a door, and four
ladies in hats and falls, on a form on the other side of a
door, and three geese in a dirty little brook before them,
and a boy's legs hanging over a bridge (with the boy's body
I suppose on the other side of the parapet), and a donkey
running away. What are you talking about?"
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